CircleCount helps you better understand Google+

2013-05-22 03:22:45 (22 comments, 0 reshares, 108 +1s)

Almost at 200,000 on VINE. If it hit it tonight I will gift 10 of you something special. Random lottery style.

2013-05-20 03:36:42 (4 comments, 1 reshares, 55 +1s)

My quick thank you to two of the top funny guys. http://instagram.com/p/ZhLsO8gAlB/

2013-05-19 20:22:53 (19 comments, 7 reshares, 178 +1s)

I'm a considerate lover.
I always lay a towel over the wet spot for my lady.

2013-05-09 00:55:33 (39 comments, 16 reshares, 195 +1s)

Stop trusting your gut. 
It's obviously lying to you.

2013-04-29 22:43:39 (14 comments, 3 reshares, 75 +1s)

My #StarTrek #IntoDarkness cameo in this exclusive clip. Enjoy!! https://vine.co/v/bxF0P5Z59Zv/embed

2013-04-29 18:08:49 (29 comments, 7 reshares, 123 +1s)

A heartfelt congrats to all of major league sports first openly gay athlete, Jason Collins, for "coming out of the locker room."

2013-04-27 22:05:43 (50 comments, 9 reshares, 239 +1s)

I have a first date tonight. I hope I don't accidentally act like the real me.

2013-04-24 03:56:14 (28 comments, 9 reshares, 159 +1s)

I've never "hate" fucked anyone but I have "I'm just disappointed that's all" banged on a few bleak occasions.

2013-04-17 03:16:56 (25 comments, 39 reshares, 318 +1s)

Unblocking someone is like slowly stepping over the psycho killers body when you think they're dead.

2013-04-15 20:43:25 (6 comments, 11 reshares, 93 +1s)

Reconnect with loved ones in Boston via Twitter, FB, or #RedCross Safe and Well: http://t.co/1Ta8I7mfJu #BostonMarathon
‏

2013-04-14 18:06:39 (15 comments, 10 reshares, 174 +1s)

I don't mind being blown off as long as it's by someone I didn't want to hang with anyway.

2013-04-14 05:19:42 (26 comments, 4 reshares, 172 +1s)

If you walk a mile in my shoes I'm calling the cops and charging you with larceny.

2013-04-13 04:09:06 (18 comments, 8 reshares, 129 +1s)

Some girls can't take yes for a question.

2013-04-12 19:26:45 (11 comments, 2 reshares, 104 +1s)

Jonathan Winters - One of the greats. A kind hearted man with a ferocious comedy mind. RIP.

2013-04-09 20:59:14 (14 comments, 1 reshares, 132 +1s)

If someone sends me a link that doesn't open and start playing within 1 second... 
I bail on it.

2013-04-07 04:32:38 (24 comments, 10 reshares, 160 +1s)

I know a girl that squirts so much during sex that live mega doppler 7000 HD radar tracks her.

2013-04-06 03:36:24 (29 comments, 10 reshares, 110 +1s)

https://vine.co/v/bTvKWbgQdpl

2013-04-02 22:43:30 (14 comments, 13 reshares, 200 +1s)

It's hard to give two shits about what someone is blabbering on about when the first shit you gave wasn't appreciated.

2013-04-01 19:04:47 (21 comments, 1 reshares, 111 +1s)

Loving my new workout shorts. Showin' a little side ball today.

2013-03-28 19:48:25 (27 comments, 4 reshares, 176 +1s)

I just jailbroke my relationship.

2013-03-27 01:39:11 (16 comments, 8 reshares, 202 +1s)

Cook / Tucker - I truly do understand the words comin' outta his mouth.

2013-03-27 00:04:48 (4 comments, 6 reshares, 59 +1s)

Iceman and Goose reunite. A Monty Python strikes. It's an exclusive peek at our new film 'Planes'! http://usat.ly/10DEUbi

2013-03-26 19:31:36 (9 comments, 6 reshares, 159 +1s)

I just rescheduled an argument because I'm too busy dealing with a lie.

2013-03-26 01:04:31 (10 comments, 15 reshares, 197 +1s)

Pushing someone out of your life is rude. Better to draw them a specifically routed map entitled, "Away From Me In 5 Easy Steps Elsewhere."

2013-03-25 19:22:26 (6 comments, 3 reshares, 95 +1s)

I'm proud to share some excellent news. My very talented sister Courtney Cook is taking her photography skills on the road! 
If you're in the New England area, looking for new photos,  check this out and here is the link: http://bit.ly/_cci
 

2013-03-22 03:52:05 (22 comments, 6 reshares, 190 +1s)

There is nothing more entertaining than watching a drunk girl trying to find her girlfriends in a huge casino.

2013-03-10 22:47:12 (31 comments, 3 reshares, 46 +1s)

1Q & 1A with Dane Cook my weekly new comedy thing. https://www.pheed.com/p/12629142

2013-03-10 19:44:52 (23 comments, 47 reshares, 261 +1s)

I came across this today. This is so sharp and natural. Eddie is one of the best. I remember wanting to find my own little Eddie laugh to use as a "tell" in some of my routines. Now I see so many comics do it (or over do it) but Eddie still did it from the heart. Enjoy this it's relevant & damn funny. 

2013-03-06 00:27:15 (12 comments, 0 reshares, 57 +1s)

Join my Pheed channel. 1st 1,000 subscriber will be just that! https://t.co/CcWcann6mo

2013-03-05 23:09:19 (22 comments, 8 reshares, 168 +1s)

A cute girl that dresses super slutty is adwhorable.

2013-03-05 04:12:01 (12 comments, 3 reshares, 68 +1s)

Hanging out with Prince! http://vine.co/v/bHeFgHBTBJW 

2013-03-01 22:48:05 (41 comments, 58 reshares, 314 +1s)

Here's the most current TEASER for my movie ‘Disney’s Planes’ -- Disney's Planes - Teaser Trailer …

2013-03-01 00:07:46 (22 comments, 3 reshares, 151 +1s)

Dane Cook Lead Voice in ‘Disney’s Planes’ http://dlvr.it/31N0Cm -The film looks awesome. Can't wait to fly around the world in it & for it!

2013-02-24 03:04:46 (49 comments, 10 reshares, 192 +1s)

It sucks when you are having young hot sex & you randomly think of elderly people naked floating around a space station.

2013-02-12 23:48:21 (41 comments, 15 reshares, 236 +1s)

Sometimes during sex I stop & whisper in her ear, "I want to sell a baby with you."

2013-02-12 01:24:33 (27 comments, 13 reshares, 224 +1s)

Some guys are wondering what to get their girl for Valentine's Day while others are pondering if they should break up now & save the cash.

2013-02-09 05:18:40 (60 comments, 16 reshares, 265 +1s)

Hey guys I'm backkkkkk need some help. I think my friends number counter might be stuck. Can you all have a person add me to a circle tonight so I can test this out and fix it? If not I understand but I would do this for you.

Dane

2013-02-04 22:10:26 (25 comments, 41 reshares, 339 +1s)

Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.

2013-02-04 03:16:43 (19 comments, 11 reshares, 231 +1s)

During the Superbowl blackout they played "Who's in my Mouth?"

2013-01-30 19:55:25 (34 comments, 14 reshares, 214 +1s)

I think today is bring your attitude to work day.

2013-01-25 03:57:05 (42 comments, 11 reshares, 225 +1s)

Having a threesome during flu season is just asking for trouble.

2013-01-18 04:25:09 (31 comments, 12 reshares, 249 +1s)

Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.

2013-01-10 03:28:55 (31 comments, 23 reshares, 300 +1s)

Sometimes a person is out of the picture but just can't let go of the frame.

2013-01-05 23:11:07 (58 comments, 11 reshares, 266 +1s)

I've dated a few Playboy Playmates. They all have issues.

2013-01-05 02:28:35 (75 comments, 4 reshares, 209 +1s)

When I hit 3 million followers I'm deleting my G+ page!! LET'S GO!!!!!!

2013-01-03 02:24:06 (28 comments, 19 reshares, 396 +1s)

Abercrombie is so dark & loud I don't know if they're selling clothing or the girls from Taken.

2012-12-29 21:31:48 (30 comments, 6 reshares, 219 +1s)

Listening to old phone sex conversations I secretly recorded. Wow, it's crazy, I sound so young!

2012-12-28 04:41:29 (28 comments, 20 reshares, 183 +1s)

Others people problems are your problems but your problems are solely yours. #WhatILearnedIn2012

2012-12-25 02:52:01 (22 comments, 5 reshares, 144 +1s)

It's a great night to curl up inside of a fire.

2012-12-24 21:15:56 (58 comments, 18 reshares, 307 +1s)

I just wrapped my penis for Xmas. It's a gag gift.