
Jody Swaney
Google does not consider me certifiable but I assure you I am real.
Occupation: I am a writer, I create and manage entire worlds with words.
Location: Santee, California
His ProfilesRankThis is the rank of 'Jody Swaney' out of all Google+ Profiles.: 2,692 (GenderRankFor the gender 'Men'.: 1,508)
His ProfilesRankThis is the rank of 'Jody Swaney' out of all Google+ Profiles. in United States: 893 (GenderRankFor the gender 'Men'.: 563)
Followers: 21,606
Following: 643
Added to CircleCount.com: 07/05/2011That's the date, where Jody Swaney has been indexed by CircleCount.com.
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Activity
Average numbers for the latest postings:
3 comments per posting'Current posts' means the last 50 posts that are at the most 4 weeks old. So this metric gives a picture of how many comments someone has received recently.
0 reshares per posting'Current posts' means the last 50 posts that are at the most 4 weeks old. So this metric gives a picture of .how often someone's posts have been reshared lately.
6 +1's per posting'Current posts' means the last 50 posts that are at the most 4 weeks old. So this metric gives a picture of how many +1's someone has received on his or her posts recently.
839 characters per posting'Current posts' means the last 50 posts that are at the most 4 weeks old. So this metric gives a picture of how many characters someone has used per post recently.
Latest postings

2013-05-25 04:09:36 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
I love seeing my daughters creative packaging shipping philosophy.

2013-05-23 14:26:24 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)
I wonder how many other old men like me start their days with this fun tune
"All Night Longer"
In Vegas, yeah I drink Jäger
Throw bangers get serenaded by ladies basically naked
It's crazy this life I take it, yeah
Everybody notice white girls drink Vodka Sodas
Jack and cokes will get you open
Tequila shots are the dopest and I love it
The way you look so fine when I'm faded on my ten gin and tonic
But keep on getting persuaded that I wanna crack a Jameson
Invite all your lady friends
Tell that bartender serve a mothafuckin' round again
Tell that bartender make that motherfucker stronger
I wanna go all night longer
A couple rounds going down like water
I wanna go all night longer
Cause I do this every night
(Cause I do this every night)
I wanna do this every night
(I wanna ... more »

2013-05-23 13:04:05 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)
conversational tidbit from the Swaney home
"What the f*ck are you doing in there?"
"What?"
"You've been in the shower for 40 fricking minutes."
"I guess I dozed off, Sorry dad."
"Quit locking down my home by using the bathroom as your personal jack-shack!"


2013-05-22 16:16:43 (11 comments, 0 reshares, 32 +1s)
So last night the boys spotted a dog, she was limping and it looked like she was bleeding from the eye. We went out and gathered her up with the intention of returning her to her owner.
Well it's the next morning, we have posted information about the found dog. Upon closer examination and a bath, and treating the infected eye, we realize she hasn't been hit after all. She's old, really old. She's also stone deaf and probably 75% blind. She has hip displasia. She also falls when she climbs stairs or tries to go over a curb. The good news is she's house broken, doesn't bark, and still has some quality of life.
The point is, there is no way this dog ran away from home. I think this dog was a dump off, and that just breaks my heart.
Without sounding too sappy I feel like this dog I'd bringing me a lesson. I don't know what the lesson is, it may... more »

2013-05-21 22:16:06 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)
When your banging a chick that ugly you need two bags, one for her and one for you, in case hers breaks.
words of wisdom from the Jerry Springer show


2013-05-21 13:35:38 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
i climbed up in the cab all wet and cold and lonely
It's a Ronnie Milsap kind of morning.
Why?
because she's somewhere in that smokey mountain rain

2013-05-21 06:26:47 (3 comments, 0 reshares, 4 +1s)
journal entry
Well Cougars, Kittens, Lions, Tigers, Wolves, Tangerines, and Cookie Cutters...
We're down to the last cocktail of the evening. The kids are in bed, the wife is off to work at the hospital, the dogs are giving me that lets go to bed look, my throat is raw from too many cigarettes, and it's about that time.
I've decided to try to do a daily journal entry here on G+ because it will be a good writing exercise, big fun, and I'm a bit of an attention whore.
So, this morning started out OK, but my son 16 yr old, kind of gave me a little attitude about chores. I mean I asked him to square the kitchen away this morning and he was all like "I finished your dishes, can you wipe down the cabinets." and then I said "Those aren't my fucking dishes, do I look like I need all of these dishes, those dishes belong to the family,... more »


2013-05-21 05:26:25 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)
Some things I bought today. Tequilla, Socks, Olives, and some little baby dill pickles...


2013-05-21 05:42:53 (3 comments, 0 reshares, 8 +1s)
Yes she will bite. She also yapps. She doesn't mind too well, and the only tricks she knows is not to mess in the house and she knows he name fairly well. She insists on sleeping beneath the covers, and we'll scratch you until you lift them for her. She shivers constantly. She will also scratch your legs until you move them to a position of her liking. I can't take her to the dog park or dog beach because she will go after any dog of any size that gets close to me. She has the heart of a lion and a body that weighs eight pounds. I can't say she it the best, best looking, smartest, or kindest dog, but she is my dog, and that's enough.


2013-05-21 03:37:17 (14 comments, 0 reshares, 4 +1s)
One thing I like about this new layout on G+ is the ease of organizing circles. Right now I'm scanning from my Simply The Best circle and putting some people in the People That Matter circle. This is because my circles have just gotten so busy.
Also this post seemed a great way to try out my windows 8 screen capture short cuts.

2013-05-20 20:24:38 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 5 +1s)
self dialog
Must not have a second Margarita before picking up my grandson fr0m school.... fighting the forces of the dark side.

2013-05-20 20:05:10 (3 comments, 0 reshares, 4 +1s)
You know how when you go and buy a lot of extra things to make your cabinets look extra full because your wife's x husband will be in town and stopping by for a meet and greet and possibly dinner and if he should happen to look into one of the cabinets you want him to be impressed...
THAT!


2013-05-20 19:38:24 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
Senor Frog...... I will try you out.
6 minutes later....
You are very nice... I think we'll be great friends.

2013-05-20 14:07:58 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 7 +1s)
This is attempted murder... nothing more nothing less.

2013-05-20 04:30:05 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
So, did the Samuel just leave the knife behind when he fled the scene?
#gameofthrones

2013-05-20 04:28:33 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
So... without being a spoiled sport I just have to ask, did the fat guy leave the knife behind or what?

2013-05-19 23:00:24 (4 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)
So I've been thinking about the Nexus 7 HD, and you know what? I think I'm just gonna pass. I am 100 % satisfied with my picture just like it is.... Honestly I've never really been able to see a huge difference in blue ray and shit like that ..... is there anything other then a better picture that would convince me to switch from this Nexus 7?


2013-05-19 22:48:23 (9 comments, 1 reshares, 1 +1s)
This Verizon app allows me to send and receive sms and mms text from my tablet using strictly wifi.. works even if my phone is off.... Very handy.

2013-05-19 05:29:00 (3 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)
Can someone message me right this second.. I want to try out the service on my N7.. Thanks

2013-05-19 05:02:50 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
People like this need horsewhipped in the town square.
I thought you might be interested in this story: Dognapped Yorkie Found Safe Near Home, http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Yorkie-Taken-By-Dognappers-Dropped-Off-Safe-at-Home-208036481.html
Sent via the NBC SD Android App.
Download the app https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.nbcuni.nbcots.nbcsandiego.android


2013-05-19 02:53:08 (0 comments, 2 reshares, 19 +1s)
I googled writers inspiration and this photo came up... Very cool isn't it?


2013-05-18 19:45:42 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
If the dishwasher is run every night... and we haven't even eaten a meal, how can there possibly be 9 fricking glasses in the dishwasher?
Questions like these run thru my mind way more often then they should...


2013-05-18 16:45:37 (5 comments, 0 reshares, 7 +1s)
I love elephants. These were picked up last night after a great dinner with the family.


2013-05-17 21:40:11 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)
middle aged wild side
(this post is complete fiction and contains adult themes and situations)
“What do you want from me!?”
The late forty something woman asked the early fifty something man, as she stood before him in the kitchen, at 6 o’clock in the morning.
“After all these years, you can’t guess what I want?” he countered looking at her with a smile.
He gazed upon her in the early morning light, in the kitchen, after almost 10 hours of love making fueled by Viagra and a few bumps of coke.
She looked amazing to him dressed in one of his undershirts and a smile, her soft womanly curves, her prominent dark nipples, and most of all the V of her center that played peek-a-boo with every move of her body. Her breasts without a bra had become fuller, and hung lower, in the years of their marriage, and her bottom that had once been as tight and firm as anyo... more »


2013-05-17 17:29:33 (1 comments, 3 reshares, 3 +1s)
middle aged wild side
(this post is complete fiction and contains adult themes and situations)
“What do you want from me!?”
The late forty something woman asked the early fifty something man, as she stood before him in the kitchen, at 6 o’clock in the morning.
“After all these years, you can’t guess what I want?” he countered looking at her with a smile.
He gazed upon her in the early morning light, in the kitchen, after almost 10 hours of love making fueled by Viagra and a few bumps of coke.
She looked amazing to him dressed in one of his undershirts and a smile, her soft womanly curves, her prominent dark nipples, and most of all the V of her center that played peek-a-boo with every move of her body. Her breasts without a bra had become fuller, and hung lower, in the years of their marriage, and her bottom that had once been as tight and firm as anyo... more »


2013-05-17 15:33:38 (9 comments, 1 reshares, 4 +1s)
who do I blow, or where do I send my check?
So, I notice some peoples posts, video, and pictures, are huge and shiney; while other peoples posts (aka mine) are not. Who decides and who do I need to suck up to, to make this happen to mine, or is it one of those things being certified as using your real name, where some get it and some don't and some just never will.


2013-05-17 14:55:58 (5 comments, 0 reshares, 6 +1s)
my pitch to land Kool-Aid as a sponsor
I suppose if I had to be completely honest I could trace my general disdain for Capri Sun, and Sunny D, and pretty much any of those sugary drinks for kids with the exception KoolAid, to the days of my youth when I drank gargantuan amounts of cheap Vodka and this shit called Tampico Fruit Punch.
It came in all of these neon colors, had a really weird smooth texture, cost less then a dollar per gallon, and pretty much destroyed your life for a few days after the drunk. Something about this punch was an actual hangover and nausea enhancer.
So for this reason, if none other, I pack KoolAid in my kids lunches.


2013-05-17 14:18:41 (0 comments, 1 reshares, 5 +1s)
Turning Points
I guess I would have to say my whole life and attitude changed when I realized the statements I don't want to have sex. and I don't want to have sex with you. Weren't the same thing.


2013-05-17 08:20:09 (5 comments, 2 reshares, 5 +1s)
I wanna be your virus
I’m not a great writer, or even a good writer, by the standards of days gone by when the greats practiced their crafts with huge teams of readers, and proof readers, and focus groups, and editors, and unlimited corporate resources, and unlimited time for re-writes and modifications, and nice fat advance checks, agents, and this and that.
But, by today’s standards, I do believe I have the ability to hold a reader’s attention for more than a few seconds.
This is no easy task when all of the entertainment in the world is just a few clicks away. I mean seriously I have to have something going for me when I can capture your attention long enough to keep you off your phone, out of your email, away from Netflix, spankwire, xxxbunker, facebook, and google+ for the few minutes that it might take you to read more than the average 10-15 word post or MeMe. I have... more »

2013-05-17 05:09:59 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)
Here's the thing about frank Sinatra. His music is so pure, each instrument proclaims itself without stepping on the others or distorting the music, and his Lyrics are so clear. Honestly I think he has the best enunciation of any performer I've ever listened to.
Take a second, clik the link, turn off that damned TV, and enjoy.

2013-05-17 05:00:50 (4 comments, 1 reshares, 7 +1s)
“I’ve never had an orgasm in my life.”
She said after we had several drinks in the living room, and were discussing her present and past relationships.
She said it quickly and glossed it over with several non-relevant things but her eyes told the rest of the story.
Her eyes said:
Is it weird that I’d discuss this with you? Is it weird that I need the opinion of someone who isn’t trying to bang me but is still a man? Is it weird that I want to discuss this with my step dad?
Her eyes said:
Feel free to pretend you didn't hear what I just said. Pretend you didn't hear it, and I'll pretend I didn't say it, if discussing it means things will be weird between us.
Her eyes said:
I’m bringing this to you because it weighs on me, and I don’t know where else to take it.
Her eyes said:


2013-05-17 03:58:45 (6 comments, 0 reshares, 8 +1s)
“What the hell is this?”
I asked my Son, as he prepared to read something to me that he had written on a raggedy assed legal pad that he had mined from the closet in my old office that was now his bedroom.
“It’s my daily report on news stories I have read so I can keep up with current events and won’t look like an idiot. You told me I had to do it.”
“I know what I told you. Is your computer broken?”
“No.”
“Did you break your smart phone? Is your keyboard not working?” I queried.
“No it’s all working I just wrote it on paper this time.”
“Yea…. So then it’s not finished.”
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“I mean, the world doesn’t work on legal pads anymore. What’s next are you going to send the whole fricking thing to me one sentence at a time rubber banned to the legs of pigeons? Should I wait for a calm day, h... more »


2013-05-16 21:33:15 (1 comments, 1 reshares, 1 +1s)
“I’ve never had an orgasm in my life.”
She said after we had several drinks in the living room, and were discussing her present and past relationships.
She said it quickly and glossed it over with several non-relevant things but her eyes told the rest of the story.
Her eyes said:
Is it weird that I’d discuss this with you? Is it weird that I need the opinion of someone who isn’t trying to bang me but is still a man? Is it weird that I want to discuss this with my step dad?
Her eyes said:
Feel free to pretend you didn't hear what I just said. Pretend you didn't hear it, and I'll pretend I didn't say it, if discussing it means things will be weird between us.
Her eyes said:
I’m bringing this to you because it weighs on me, and I don’t know where else to take it.
Her eyes said:
... more »


2013-05-16 17:04:35 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 13 +1s)
I have a neighbor, and she has a daughter, and her daughter plays with my grandson, and this dog lays beside them untethered and keeps an eye on them. In this case the dog was babysitting the twins while mommy (the neighbor girl) and daddy (my grandson) dug in the dirt.


2013-05-16 17:14:15 (9 comments, 3 reshares, 16 +1s)
“I’ve never had an orgasm in my life.”
She said after we had several drinks in the living room, and were discussing her present and past relationships.
She said it quickly and glossed it over with several non-relevant things but her eyes told the rest of the story.
Her eyes said:
Is it weird that I’d discuss this with you? Is it weird that I need the opinion of someone who isn’t trying to bang me but is still a man? Is it weird that I want to discuss this with my step dad?
Her eyes said:
Feel free to pretend you didn't hear what I just said. Pretend you didn't hear it, and I'll pretend I didn't say it, if discussing it means things will be weird between us.
Her eyes said:
I’m bringing this to you because it weighs on me, and I don’t know where else to take it.
Her eyes said:
... more »


2013-05-16 14:59:28 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 4 +1s)
Thanks for that..
So, yea: with tumbler downloads, lots of friends, both male and female, and being one good looking SOB, some photos that are on my phone are of the adult category and although I don't share them it's always nice the way my heart almost stops when they show up in my notifications and I'm given the opportunity to share them with all 21679 of my google friends and then suddenly I'm painfully aware of who happens to be in the room with my computer.


2013-05-16 14:23:43 (5 comments, 0 reshares, 6 +1s)
google+ thoughts
It's kind of like I won a surprise complete closet makeover isn't it? I mean here is Google+ all shiny and new and that's great but... I see you threw my old boxers out and replaced them with brand new ones and look, all of my T-shirts are on hangers and color coordinated .
Do you like it? askes the semi hot hostess while bathing me in the HD lighting, and the camera roles.
Ahhhh, yea. It's sure different isn't it? I reply with a little trepidation.
What about the hangouts? See how we've folded them into google chat for you?
Ahhhhh, yea. Things sure are different now aren't they?
Different is good! Progress is being made! You are becoming more efficient! We are helping you to evolve! Congratulations Mr. Swaney. (By Mr. Swaney we are in no way admitting that it is Mr. Swaney or ce... more »

2013-05-14 20:21:51 (0 comments, 1 reshares, 5 +1s)
She is a secret dancer and singer capturing this on video is like catching a dragon or unicorn on tape. Watch very carefully... (volume might be loud)


2013-05-14 16:47:43 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 4 +1s)
This morning while making white albacore tuna salad for the family, my beagler Sara Swaney was by my side. She ate 5 out of 8 of the egg yolks for 2 reasons, she worries about my cholesterol, and she knows that I find few things more disgusting then the chalky ass, puke yellow, gross in every way imaginable, boiled egg yolk. Thank You for taking one for the team.

2013-05-14 14:08:12 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)
After spending the morning hearing about Angelina Jolie getting the double mastectomy.. I just wish she would have done more nudes. #isthatwrong

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