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Shared Circles including Steven Garone

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The Google+ Collections of Steven Garone

104264121339839722223 has no public Google+ Collections yet.

Top posts in the last 50 posts

Most comments: 5

2013-01-15 03:37:43 (5 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

I cannot even begin to describe how heartbreaking today was...

Most reshares: 1

2013-08-19 15:36:23 (1 comments, 1 reshares, 3 +1s)Open 

Ok. So, I've been absent from Google+ for a while, about a year. Here's what's happened!

I got engaged in Walt Disney World, married in Disneyland. Then, we had a marriage license signing, followed by a mini-moon in Disneyland.

Wife got pregnant, but we lost the kid before it could develop.

And that's my life up to now. Miss me?

Most plusones: 8

2012-10-09 01:27:01 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 8 +1s)Open 

My sister takes 2 One-A-Day vitamins a day. Apparently, the box says to. I say it's false advertising.

Latest 50 posts

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2015-07-29 21:49:02 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Well, I never want to be in utero again.

Well, I never want to be in utero again.___

2014-11-26 15:17:56 (4 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Jokes That Don't Work in Text - Entry 1

What did the DJ name his son?

Eric.

Jokes That Don't Work in Text - Entry 1

What did the DJ name his son?

Eric.___

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2014-11-13 17:16:26 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 5 +1s)Open 

Had a long call this morning...

Had a long call this morning...___

2014-11-04 22:57:40 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

So, my wife broke her Nexus 5. I gave her mine and switched to the +HTC  Amaze 4G. 3 years and it's still a good phone! Way to make a quality product, HTC!

So, my wife broke her Nexus 5. I gave her mine and switched to the +HTC  Amaze 4G. 3 years and it's still a good phone! Way to make a quality product, HTC!___

2014-10-30 22:28:13 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)Open 

So, I went through and cleaned up my Google+ contacts. I feel I might actually be able to start to use this again. Also, my phone contacts are going to go from "Basically Unusable" to "Might be able to find people." Go me!

So, I went through and cleaned up my Google+ contacts. I feel I might actually be able to start to use this again. Also, my phone contacts are going to go from "Basically Unusable" to "Might be able to find people." Go me!___

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2014-07-30 03:34:57 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

For those of you on Line, especially those on +Line Disney Tsum Tsum my QR code.

For those of you on Line, especially those on +Line Disney Tsum Tsum my QR code.___

2014-07-16 03:36:26 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Turns out, my father, who abandoned my family for a younger woman and left my disabled mother alone and poor, is still following me on Google+.

Hello +Anthony Garone. You're still a terrible person.

Turns out, my father, who abandoned my family for a younger woman and left my disabled mother alone and poor, is still following me on Google+.

Hello +Anthony Garone. You're still a terrible person.___

2014-05-03 19:32:32 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Just complete my FASFA today. Estimated 5 grand in grants, probably due to the spawn my wife will be birthing this year. Hooray baby and the money you bring! (5 grand, however, is also the amount I will be spending on the birth, so it evens out)

Just complete my FASFA today. Estimated 5 grand in grants, probably due to the spawn my wife will be birthing this year. Hooray baby and the money you bring! (5 grand, however, is also the amount I will be spending on the birth, so it evens out)___

2014-03-05 05:21:24 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

I forgot how addicting Earthbound was... +Wii U

I forgot how addicting Earthbound was... +Wii U___

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2014-02-08 05:11:53 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)Open 

Do yourselves a favor. See The Lego Movie. It's pretty amazing.

Do yourselves a favor. See The Lego Movie. It's pretty amazing.___

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2014-01-25 21:37:04 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Using my new Nexus 5, enjoying the features.

Using my new Nexus 5, enjoying the features.___

2013-12-28 17:39:19 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Alright, +Google+  you've earned my trust for photos. I am now deleting my photos off my phone.

Alright, +Google+  you've earned my trust for photos. I am now deleting my photos off my phone.___

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2013-12-14 17:56:49 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Look what came in the mail today! I now accept all major credit cards!

Look what came in the mail today! I now accept all major credit cards!___

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2013-11-19 22:13:22 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

I loves me some infographics...

I loves me some infographics...___

2013-08-19 15:36:23 (1 comments, 1 reshares, 3 +1s)Open 

Ok. So, I've been absent from Google+ for a while, about a year. Here's what's happened!

I got engaged in Walt Disney World, married in Disneyland. Then, we had a marriage license signing, followed by a mini-moon in Disneyland.

Wife got pregnant, but we lost the kid before it could develop.

And that's my life up to now. Miss me?

Ok. So, I've been absent from Google+ for a while, about a year. Here's what's happened!

I got engaged in Walt Disney World, married in Disneyland. Then, we had a marriage license signing, followed by a mini-moon in Disneyland.

Wife got pregnant, but we lost the kid before it could develop.

And that's my life up to now. Miss me?___

posted image

2013-04-25 16:31:29 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)Open 

LTE on +T-Mobile using +HTC One in Phoenix. Amazing.

LTE on +T-Mobile using +HTC One in Phoenix. Amazing.___

2013-04-25 05:48:04 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Hey +HTC, just bought the One. It's very sexy.

Hey +HTC, just bought the One. It's very sexy.___

2013-04-24 16:22:40 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Hey +HTC , I would really like a t-shirt for the new HTC One... How might I get one?

Hey +HTC , I would really like a t-shirt for the new HTC One... How might I get one?___

2013-04-02 23:54:30 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

I think it's appropriate to share this with the world. This is the unedited, final communication I had with my father. It took me a few hours to write and it was very difficult to do. I don't feel the need to really hide this from the world. I think it's important to express how I feel, how I've felt. It's not all going to make sense, since there are references to many instances which none of you know about, but I think it can be just as impactful. So, here we go.

As I alluded to in my last e-mail, this will be our last communication until the day you apologize for your transgressions or one of us is on some kind of death bed.
 
It's taken me over a month and a lot of sleepless nights to figure out exactly what I'm going to say to you in our final moments of conversation, but I'm going to start off with something I never really intended to say until I... more »

I think it's appropriate to share this with the world. This is the unedited, final communication I had with my father. It took me a few hours to write and it was very difficult to do. I don't feel the need to really hide this from the world. I think it's important to express how I feel, how I've felt. It's not all going to make sense, since there are references to many instances which none of you know about, but I think it can be just as impactful. So, here we go.

As I alluded to in my last e-mail, this will be our last communication until the day you apologize for your transgressions or one of us is on some kind of death bed.
 
It's taken me over a month and a lot of sleepless nights to figure out exactly what I'm going to say to you in our final moments of conversation, but I'm going to start off with something I never really intended to say until I was inspired to do so today.
 
Here's a bit of advice about how to handle a situation, appropriately, as a father.
 
Situation: Grandfather of your child says something cruel and mean about your children.
 
Example: "Tony, your daughter is just a terrible person. She deserves all the pain in her life."
 
Correct response: "You will never talk about my daughter that way again. Who the hell do you think you are? She deserves the pain? You call her up right now and apologize. You have no right to say something so mean and cruel."
 
Also correct:  "That is sick. That's terrible. I know you're my father and I should respect you because of how you raised me, but that's my daughter and your granddaughter. How could you say something so terrible? My daugther has been in pain for years. I may not agree with everything she says and everything she does, but she's still my daughter and I would fight to my very last breath to defend her."
 
Incorrect response: "Well, whatcha gonna do? Hopefully she'll understand some day."
 
The first two responses are from a good father. See, this good father knows that, while he doesn't agree with what his daughter is saying or doing at the current time, or at some time previous, that it's still his daughter and he would defend her. It's the job of a father to defend his family, not let someone else berate them and cause them heartache. A father is there to protect. He's there to help. He's supposed to be at someone's bedside when they're sick, not yelling at them because of his personal issues.
 
This is why you are, currently, a bad father. You let your family treat your children like crap and you encourage it.
 
You and I don't see eye-to-eye. I acknowledge that. You should as well. We're not friends. I don't consider you to be a model for who I want to be. I consider you to be someone I want to avoid becoming. You're a bad father. I want to be a good father. (I'm not a father yet, but God-willing, I will be in the next few years.)
 
You say a lot of things about mom, a lot of bad things. You two have your issues, but she is an amazing mother. She wouldn't let someone say terrible things about her children and she wouldn't encourage her family to ostracize someone from the family because she doesn't agree with their decisions.
 
I didn't invite you to my wedding. You don't agree with that. Instead of telling your family that you and I are having a disagreement and that they should still support the wedding, you allow them to boycott my wedding and tell rumors about me (Kayla's not pregnant, by the way. I'd be happy if she were and wouldn't hide it. We've been planning the wedding since November and figured there's no reason to put it off, but thanks for spreading rumors.)
 
I didn't invite you to my wedding for a number of reasons. One, you don't believe in marriage. You're going through a divorce and you're running away to the other side of the country. You abandoned your husbandly duties and are acting selfishly. You have obligations as a husband that you're giving up.
 
I believe it is, "Until death do us part," not "Until I feel inconvenienced and think I should try dating around again." I'll ask a priest, I suppose, in case I got it wrong, but I'm pretty sure on this one.
 
You are not a man of your word. Because of this divorce filled world, I was willing to give you some slack. You're a man at the end of his rope, you did something drastic. I gave you a chance to try to make a relationship with me. Call me once a week to see how I'm doing. You didn't call me once. You didn't call me until I told you I was ok without having a father. You said you'd call me the next day. You didn't. You're not a man of your word. I don't have any respect for people who cannot keep their word.
 
I am, in many respects, honor bound to respect my father. It's hard coded into my world view. I cannot just give up this idea that my father is someone to respect, to admire. So, I am forced to create a new reality, one which I borrowed from the 1990's hit sitcom Roseanne. In the final season of the sitcom, Dan sufferes from a heart attack, but he survives and then later cheats on Roseanne. The final episode reveals that Roseanne is a writer who is describing her life. She says that Dan didn't cheat on her, but he died. When she was writing about it, she felt him dying cheated her out of her life with him and so she wrote that he cheated on her.
 
I'm doing something similar. See, your transformation into the man you are today, in my eyes, killed the man who was my father. He was a good, decent man. He was a bit cruel, quick to anger, but he calmed down towards his final days. It was a slow death, but on August 2nd, 2012, he succumb and was gone. His body was usurped by some man named Tony. He took over my father's life, but didn't want any part of his family. He changed stories that we were told, revised my father's history, and blamed everything on my mother. He was mean to my siblings and said terrible, cruel things. I miss my father, but he's dead now. I have to accept that.
 
I suppose that makes you like Darth Vader, except without anything redeeming, like light saber skills or the possibility of repentance. You've succumbed to the dark side of your selfish desires and forgot about the virtues of your life. You're systematically killing everything that my father fought to protect, dismantling his family and trying to turn his children against each other.
 
What is working against you, thank goodness, is that no one is falling for it. No one believes your stories. Maybe your father and mother do. Maybe they'll continue to hate me forever, but your children know you're wrong. They know I'm not a terrible person and they know Jennifer isn't a terrible person.
 
In any case, my father died. I can't invite him to my wedding, because he's dead. I'm not willing to accept some substitute father who usurped his life and then destroyed it.
 
I will tell my children that my father died. You will never meet them. I suppose it makes it easier that you're running away forever (Ohio or New York, whatever), because they'll never really have to ask who that man is. They'll just know that my father is gone.
 
I know they'll be angry with me if they ever learn that you exist, and that's ok. I accept that. I'm not going to belittle them or to say bad things about them to my brothers and sisters to get them to disown them. I know that it's going to hurt, but I think it's a lot better for them to not know you exist. My father is dead.
 
This letter, for me, is closure. This is my eulogy for the father I miss, the father who loved me. Maybe it's a crappy eulogy, but it's what I have. There was no funeral for my father. He just disappeared, evaporated.
 
This will not make me a popular person within the Garone family, I know. Your family has already made that clear. You have made it clear that you intend to let them hate me as opposed to defending me (see the beginning of this e-mail). I may not have known you very well before this whole debacle started, but I learned a lot about your character since it began.
 
I'd like to say that I set it up to teach me that from the beginning, but it was all a happy accident.
 
When you left, I was happy at the prospect of getting to know my father, of getting to know who you really were and possibly having a real relationship with you. I got nothing. I got angry.
 
Every step along the way, you made the people I care about the most cry. You showed little to no remorse.
 
You started dating someone less than a year after your 31 years of marriage ended and thought that was fine. It wasn't, but it showed your character, it showed who you care most about in this world (Hint: Look in the mirror).
 
Oh, I hear her husband cheated on her and that's why she got divorced. Hilarious, because that makes her a terrible person. If she were any kind of good person, she would've told you to wait before dating because she knows how painful that could be.
 
Also, I hear her daughter is addicted to heroine. I'll be honest, I laughed for hours after I heard that. Way to choose a winner. She's not only a terrible person, but she's a terrible mom. Big thumbs up there.
 
Also, I hear you hate your life now. Again, laughed for hours. You caused so much heartbreak and sorrow and now you either have to man up and try to work things out with your old family or be a coward and stick it out with this obviously worse situation. Glad you're a coward.
 
Literally, ask anyone, I was laughing. It's hilarious. I mean, it just shows how terrible at decision making you are. I'm still laughing, though silently because people here are sleeping. 
 
Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, character. You showed your character, your true character that was hidden away while my father was still alive. 
 
If I think about it really hard, I can remember other instances of you being selfish and only caring about yourself, but I don't really want to taint the memory of my father by finding bits of you in him. I'm sure it was there, but I didn't get to see it much, so I'm going to revise history and say it wasn't (You're not the only one who can change the past).
 
You don't try to understand your children and prefer to yell at them. You sneak into my mother's house and steal stuff off the walls, giving an excuse that you thought they weren't safe because either myself or Annmarie would destroy them, which is a bold faced lie and you know it.
 
You're weak, childish, and stupid. You're too cowardly to admit leaving was a mistake. You're childish because you can't understand that other people are being affected by your actions and you whine when you don't get your way. You're stupid because you don't think about things before you do them. You just do stuff and see what happens.
 
You're miserable and I know it. I've been where you are before. You risk everything on some Hail Mary play and it falls apart in front of you and you're just too cowardly to admit it was the wrong move and you'd like to take it back, please. You put all the eggs into the Amy basket before you knew it was a basket case and now, if you come back, you have to face the humiliation and you will have to work to earn everyone's respect back.
 
You should actually feel pretty lucky that my mom is who she is. She's the one who keeps me at bay when I want to tell you how I feel. She's the one who is taking care of your children while you're too busy being a child. She's one heck of a gal and none of her kids are addicted to heroine.
 
She's a different breed, I suppose. Her family emphasizes helping out, regardless. Any one of my aunts or uncles on her side will drop everything to help each other out. They're remarkable and I never truly appreciated them until I had to deal with you and your family.
 
I don't see why you would miss your family. They constantly bicker and lie. They stab each other in the back. They compete on every level. Isn't that why you didn't want us children to really know them? Because they're terrible people?
 
Uncle Kenny's pretty cool, but he participates just as much as the rest of them in this nonsense. I invited him to the wedding, but I know he's not coming because of politics. I didn't bother inviting the rest of your family because I didn't want to deal with the politics. Lucky me that you brought the politics anyway. Good job.
 
In any case, the Navas clan is always there to help. They're always friendly and they always look out for one another. Family is what matters most to them, not themselves.
 
Uncle Anthony took me out to a hockey game because I mentioned that I didn't really have that with my father. He didn't even think twice, just invited me to go with him and Jake. They bought the tickets, I showed up, they even lent me a baseball cap, explained the game, and bought me dinner for the night. I didn't ask him to. They just... did it.
 
I was floored, honestly. I didn't have to hound them or make deals with them. I didn't have to ask them to try to talk to me once a week and then get disappointed. I just mentioned how I wish I had a dad that did that and Uncle Anthony did the rest. I didn't know dads were like that.
 
I mean, Uncle Anthony and Uncle John are involved in their children's lives. They know their friends and they do things together.
 
They don't agree with me not inviting you to the wedding, but they're not boycotting my wedding to prove some kind of point. They're just genuinely good people.
 
It makes me sad that I spent so much time trying to be like you. You, a man who only connects with his children if they happen to be into the same things that he is and who never really tried to understand who I was.
 
I wasn't into music growing up, but you know that. I didn't like playing instruments or writing songs. I never really understood the point of family because I never really knew my own.
 
When I was young, I tried so hard to make my own family using my friends. I made my game night because I wanted a family I could count on. I didn't know, at the time, that I could've called up one of my uncles and they would've been a dad for me.
 
Oh the years wasted creating fake father figures in my head to live up to. The years spent trying to craft you into someone to emulate. How could I have been so wrong?
 
Your father divorced your mother so long ago because she cheated on him. He filed the divorce papers and he went on his way. The difference between you and him is that he made an effort to put his children first for many years.
 
One day, he got married and ran off to Florida and you hated him for it. You said the same things about him that we say about you now.
 
Now, he's trying to make amends for that decision, but he's doing so by abandoning his other family and running away to Arizona.
 
He's not a good grandfather, with the things he says about his grand children, but he is a good father, or at least he's trying to be for you. He's defending your obviously dumb decisions and he's being there for you regardless. He's turning his back on your children to support you. Can't really fault him for trying to be a good dad after he spent so many years being a terrible one.
 
Maybe, someday, you'll come back and try to be a good dad again, though I doubt it. You're going to keep living life as you have been and I'm going to keep laughing every time I hear that something isn't working out for you. I laugh because you're incompetent.
 
You're trying so hard to defend yourself and your own actions that you've lost sight of what really matters.
 
I guess your biggest argument is that you weren't happy and you deserve to be happy. That's given me a lot of pause. This is probably the most important part of what I have to say because it's the hardest pill to swallow for most people.
 
The truth of the matter is, you don't have any right to be happy. You really don't. You have responsibilities and obligations. You have things you can enjoy about those, but you don't have any right to be happy. There are billions and billions of people out there who are unhappy and you're not any better than any of them. Why do you deserve to be happy?
 
There is a philosophy out there that talks about happiness as a quantity and the morality of a choice as an equation of happiness. I'm sure you know this, but unless what you're doing is bringing you greater happiness than the suffering it is causing others, it's immoral.
 
If your choices in life make you happier than they make other people unhappy, then you're morally obligated to do them, because you've raised the total quantity of happiness in the world.
 
Here's the situation, you're not happy and everyone else who is affected by your decision is not happy, so you're doing the wrong thing.
 
Even if you were happy right now, you'd have to be the happiest person ever to make what you've done right. You've put the happiness of a dozen people, and that's not even including how people's reaction to your decision affects the people around them, on the line and made a choice. They're all suffering now because you are trying (and failing) to be happy. Think about that for a moment. Just, really soak that in.
 
Furthermore, your decisions are pitting family members against each other, dividing up the family against your kin. Even if you're not a religious man, which you couldn't be because you're getting divorced, you're violating evolution by allowing your offspring to be targeted. (This is the bad dad thing again).
 
I know none of this will change your mind. You're not brave enough to come to the right decision. You're going to stick it out and be miserable and alone for the rest of your days. You're going to, when you're in your 70's and 80's, be pining to get back the life you lost before you die.  You'll be doing everything you can, maybe even taking an interest in your children, to have some kind of real connection.
 
Maybe you'll be lucky, like Grandpa. Maybe it won't be too late to form a bond with your children. Maybe you'll defend them when they do something stupid.  Either way, it won't be a real connection. It'll be you selfishly trying to have something, anything, so that people don't forget you when you die.
 
Ironically, we won't forget you when you die, but not because of all the good things you've done in your life. We won't remember you as the father who raised us or the man who always came to our rescue.
 
You've wiped away all your good karma when you decided to attack your children because they were upset and didn't understand you.
 
When you come back, grabbing at straws for some kind of relationship, you'll be let in, but not out of love. It will be out of pity or some kind of forced obligation. You'll tell stupid stories and they'll laugh because they see your soul crushing inside; they'll know it's only a few more years until you're gone forever. 
 
When you leave to go back to your retirement community, they'll all talk about how annoying you were, but someone will remind them to be nice because you're an old man who doesn't have anywhere else to go.
 
Maybe mom will be gone, maybe not. Either way, she'll be known as the kind grandmother who always was there for her kids and grand kids. She'll never miss a birthday and always remember to tell us she loves us. We'll have nothing but nice things to say about her because, regardless of her flaws, she always tried.
 
When you go, I'm sure I'll show up at the funeral. We'll all do our best to try and remember the good man, but I'll have no memories of you after today. This is the final impression you will have left on me. Maybe I'll regret not getting to know you later, but I suppose I'll always have the logs of conversations where you tell me I'm terrible and you disown me and you get your family to hate me.
 
I'll always have this to look back on and remind me of who you really were and why I'm happy you're gone.

--NAME REDACTED FOR MY OWN PRIVACY
 
P.S. When telling the story of this e-mail to your parents and to my siblings, try to remember that they will all have a copy of it to read on their own (at least my siblings will), and they'll be able to cite the letter when you lie about it.
 
P.P.S. If it makes you feel better, I'm alright with telling your friends and new family that I died in some kind of terrible car wreck. You could do me a real favor by saying my death was done in some cool, explosion filled way. Maybe I died after taking out a drug ring and me and the ring leader were locked in mortal combat when the tanker truck we were riding on crashed into the fireworks factory, killing us both instantly. This is just an idea. You can, of course, choose to make my death mundane, but that's kind of a dick move.___

2013-03-29 18:25:04 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

I think I've reached a point where relaxation is a luxury that I squandered in my formative years. Now, when I get home from a 15 hour day, I find I have more work to do.

My kingdom for a day off that's actually a day off...

I think I've reached a point where relaxation is a luxury that I squandered in my formative years. Now, when I get home from a 15 hour day, I find I have more work to do.

My kingdom for a day off that's actually a day off...___

2013-03-19 23:52:42 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Just beat Bionic Bands by using a double blind test with a Ghost Armor rubber band.

Just beat Bionic Bands by using a double blind test with a Ghost Armor rubber band.___

2013-03-12 18:24:23 (3 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

It's been nearly 2 years since Corki was first diagnosed with liver issues. She's struggled a long time, but we may be near the end...

It's been nearly 2 years since Corki was first diagnosed with liver issues. She's struggled a long time, but we may be near the end...___

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2013-03-10 00:26:03 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Here I am with my uncle and cousin. I'm wearing a based-ball hat and learning about sports.

Here I am with my uncle and cousin. I'm wearing a based-ball hat and learning about sports.___

2013-02-24 04:10:35 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Playing Disney's Where's My Water while waiting for the World of Color water show.

Playing Disney's Where's My Water while waiting for the World of Color water show.___

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2013-02-16 16:31:41 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)Open 

Weird thing happened outside today... It's unseasonably nice.

Weird thing happened outside today... It's unseasonably nice.___

2013-02-16 15:10:17 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Disney makes a lot of money selling us on a past that never existed and a childhood none of us had...

Disney makes a lot of money selling us on a past that never existed and a childhood none of us had...___

2013-02-14 17:52:05 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

It's Valentine's day! What to get... Women like tablets, right?

It's Valentine's day! What to get... Women like tablets, right?___

2013-02-12 20:35:22 (0 comments, 1 reshares, 2 +1s)Open 

The start of a new short story. I'm not sure where I'm going with it...

My breath became labored, and then non-existent, as her serpentine fingers curled around my tiny, human neck. Had I the air to do so, I would’ve laughed. I never thought that the last thing I would ever see would be the distorted face of my ex-wife as her spawn opened each of their seven, razor filled mouths and devoured the souls of humanity whilst making a sound that I could only describe as the Star Spangled Banner being played backwards in the middle of an active volcano.
Honestly, I didn’t see it coming. 
But that was last night and I vowed that tonight would be different. Tonight, I told myself, I wasn’t going to deal with the demon horde of the Hellspawn. Tonight, I was finally going to build that birdhouse and I’d be damned if I was going to let some punk kid with his minimum-wage attitudeand his ... more »

The start of a new short story. I'm not sure where I'm going with it...

My breath became labored, and then non-existent, as her serpentine fingers curled around my tiny, human neck. Had I the air to do so, I would’ve laughed. I never thought that the last thing I would ever see would be the distorted face of my ex-wife as her spawn opened each of their seven, razor filled mouths and devoured the souls of humanity whilst making a sound that I could only describe as the Star Spangled Banner being played backwards in the middle of an active volcano.
Honestly, I didn’t see it coming. 
But that was last night and I vowed that tonight would be different. Tonight, I told myself, I wasn’t going to deal with the demon horde of the Hellspawn. Tonight, I was finally going to build that birdhouse and I’d be damned if I was going to let some punk kid with his minimum-wage attitude and his Home Depot credit card application get in the way of my task.___

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2013-02-09 03:31:32 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)Open 

Is it really a fortune if it's telling the present? Granted, it's the undeniable truth, but still.

Is it really a fortune if it's telling the present? Granted, it's the undeniable truth, but still.___

2013-01-31 02:53:10 (4 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)Open 

Considering buying +The Bacon Wagon ... 

Considering buying +The Bacon Wagon ... ___

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2013-01-15 03:41:08 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)Open 

My father says I threatened him and his girlfriend in these texts. He called my mom and said I am psycho...

My father says I threatened him and his girlfriend in these texts. He called my mom and said I am psycho...___

2013-01-15 03:37:43 (5 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

I cannot even begin to describe how heartbreaking today was...

I cannot even begin to describe how heartbreaking today was...___

2013-01-01 18:05:39 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)Open 

I oft wonder if social media makes my life look as exciting as it makes everyone else's.

I oft wonder if social media makes my life look as exciting as it makes everyone else's.___

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2012-12-22 17:14:20 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 3 +1s)Open 

My favorite Muppet scene.

My favorite Muppet scene.___

2012-12-16 16:13:12 (2 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Walking around Best Buy trying to buy a gift for my fiancee, not a single employee asks if I need help. They apparently don't want my money.

Walking around Best Buy trying to buy a gift for my fiancee, not a single employee asks if I need help. They apparently don't want my money.___

2012-12-16 00:47:43 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Feelin' great.

Feelin' great.___

2012-12-08 03:40:38 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 7 +1s)Open 

I find it oddly insulting when face unlock says it cannot detect a face when I can clearly see my face...

I find it oddly insulting when face unlock says it cannot detect a face when I can clearly see my face...___

2012-11-27 22:07:11 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

If a shave and a haircut is two bits, what's the bandwidth of a Great Clips?

If a shave and a haircut is two bits, what's the bandwidth of a Great Clips?___

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2012-11-05 04:04:40 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

The difference between these two signs? Pride.

The difference between these two signs? Pride.___

2012-10-26 01:39:49 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

The season premier of the Simpson's was pretty good. I laughed pretty hard.

The season premier of the Simpson's was pretty good. I laughed pretty hard.___

2012-10-20 17:51:25 (4 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Looking for a backup drive for my phone. Anyone know where you can get a usb drive that is less than 500 gigs?

Looking for a backup drive for my phone. Anyone know where you can get a usb drive that is less than 500 gigs?___

2012-10-15 23:41:36 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Sony's Music Unlimited, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the WORST music service I've ever tried.

Sony's Music Unlimited, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the WORST music service I've ever tried.___

2012-10-15 03:16:29 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Pro-Obama... Anti-Obama... Let's face it, no one is pro-Romney. This is the 2004 elections all over again.

Pro-Obama... Anti-Obama... Let's face it, no one is pro-Romney. This is the 2004 elections all over again.___

2012-10-09 01:27:01 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 8 +1s)Open 

My sister takes 2 One-A-Day vitamins a day. Apparently, the box says to. I say it's false advertising.

My sister takes 2 One-A-Day vitamins a day. Apparently, the box says to. I say it's false advertising.___

2012-10-09 00:40:10 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 2 +1s)Open 

I'm writing a critique of literary critiques. My professor will critique my critique on a critique... It's like... layers, man...

I'm writing a critique of literary critiques. My professor will critique my critique on a critique... It's like... layers, man...___

2012-10-08 23:40:50 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 6 +1s)Open 

I contend that the ONLY way to write about writers is AS a writer... Drunk.

I contend that the ONLY way to write about writers is AS a writer... Drunk.___

2012-10-03 14:32:05 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

Love this.

Love this.___

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2012-09-30 15:32:38 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 4 +1s)Open 

So true

___So true

2012-09-26 04:37:42 (0 comments, 0 reshares, 0 +1s)Open 

Gotta find the joke... if I can't find the joke, then it's all just pain

Gotta find the joke... if I can't find the joke, then it's all just pain___

2012-09-26 03:39:34 (1 comments, 0 reshares, 1 +1s)Open 

I've been disowned by my father for telling him his actions are hurtful and it bothers me. Hurray.

I've been disowned by my father for telling him his actions are hurtful and it bothers me. Hurray.___

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